Keeping whatever you struggle with to yourself - be it pornography, lying, stealing, cheating, thoughts of depression, suicide, self harm, anything - is inviting the devil to use that against you. When we keep what we struggle with to ourselves, it begins to grow inside of us and attach itself at multiple points, like cancer. We push it down and try to overcome it with our own strength until finally this dark thing has already taken over half of our spiritual body, at which point friends and family begin to ask things like, "what's wrong," or, "you seem different...why?" And when we finally tell them, it's so big and dark that it can be hard for one person to help you through.
Even when we discuss it with God, it can become a way out of being accountable and/or staying in community with others.
Don't let "I'm bringing it to Jesus" become an excuse for not being in a supporting community of believers.
Talking with God about anything you struggle with is 100% necessary. BUT - if it becomes a sort of safety net where you see it as a way to get out of talking about it with other people - we begin walking on thin ice. I know this because this is where I was, and I sometimes still struggle with it. I thought that since I kept apologizing to God and asking Him for forgiveness, that I was fine. My eyes became cloudy with the fact that I never had to actually confront my addiction with someone face to face - I became numb when confessing it to God because I had confessed it to Him so many times before. Talking with another person though, was raw, and it hurt, and it was awkward. Satan used that to convince me that not only was it awkward to talk about it with someone else, but that it was a burden to the other person. That no one wanted to hear about my struggles and that I was too dirty and disgusting for anyone to really care about what I was going through - "They're just going to judge you and tell you to stop. They're going to think you're unclean and they won't love you for who you are - they'll only see your dirtiness" - just a few of the lies that the devil constantly used to fill my head and to make me think that I was alone.
If you remember one thing from this whole entire blog, remember this; you are not alone. Ever.
So many people struggle with this addiction - it just takes the boldness to admit it to a friend. Chances are they will either identify with you, or will be extremely honored and humbled by your honesty and boldness. The power of this addiction lies in its secrecy - it dwells and thrives in the dark places of your life that nobody hears about. When you give it to God, and bring it into the light of a caring community, this addiction loses its power. And if you are wondering about your habits of looking at pornography, and don't feel like you have any friends that you want to be vulnerable with - first, don't underestimate your friends. Trust them, and they will in return give you their trust and probably a lot of good help and love. You also have friends here. E-mail us with any concerns, prayer requests, or random questions that you may have.
Finally, you will always have a friend in Jesus. There is a difference between using Jesus as an excuse, and seeing him as a Savior, King, and Counselor who can handle even your deepest, darkest secrets and struggles. Not only can He handle them, but He will use them for His glory. This blog is living proof of that. It just takes living in simple obedience to and confidence in the One who has conquered the grave.
If you are struggling with pornography, do not feel afraid, guilty, or ashamed. Jesus died on the cross for you, knowing that you would struggle with pornography. He thought specifically of you - and He chose to die for your sins. Live into that boldness. Talk with someone about it - a friend, a parent, a pastor, a sibling, or us. Don't try to go through this alone.
This is my command--be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. - Joshua 1:9
In His love,
LoH
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