First Letter

Tonight I wanted to share with you my letter, based on the idea that I got from the addiction treatment house I worked at. 

Dear Pornography;

            I loved you. You were one of the few constant things in my life – through middle school, through high school, through most of college – you were there. You were there when I hated my dad. You were there when I was surrounded by friends and having what I thought was the time of my life. You were there when I had no one else. You were there when I went to church. You were there when I was at my job.  You were there when I was in relationships. You were there when I was single. You were new and exciting, and you gained exactly as much power as I gave you – and you used it to manipulate me and change me and distort my thinking. You corrupted my relationships. You started to make me feel dirty. You made me not want to go to any sort of worship service because I felt unworthy. You distorted my perception of grace, making me believe that I needed to cut you off before I could experience grace – and because you told me I could never get rid of you, I believed I would never experience grace. You were a very real demon to me. You were a cancer that controlled my thoughts and actions.

            No matter how hard you tried, and you tried your hardest, you were never going to win. I know who you really are now – I know that you draw people in and then slowly desensitize them to the poison that you feed them. You’re so convincing in the beginning but you will never win. The day Jesus died on the cross, you lost. When my savior Jesus died on that cross, He nailed you to it. When He went down to hell, He took you with Him. Jesus rose from the grave. You didn’t. I’m telling you, here and now, that you have no power over me, and you never will. I belong body, mind, and soul to my King Jesus Christ and in Him I have the victory.

            I am not simply okay with being healed of my addiction to you. In Jesus’ name, I am going to fight for the freedom of every single person who is still in bondage to you. Together with my brothers and sisters in Christ we will stand against you and you will fall to the name of Jesus.

            Romans 14:8 says, “If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.” I live and die for one, and His name is Jesus. 

I would encourage anyone who reads this to write a letter - to yourself, God, an addiction, a struggle, family, friends, significant others, future significant others, etc. I've found that this not only helps you to process things and brings about a certain kind of healing, but that it also allows for thoughts to flow more smoothly if you ever want to share your struggle with someone close to you. 

As always, if you need prayer or would like to be able to share your own letter, send us an email at lettersofhope7@gmail.com 

His,

LoH 

No to Fear, Yes to Jesus

“Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.” -1 John:18-20

This past semester was literally a wrestling match between me, Jesus and the devil. After going through a tough break up, I was excited to dive into my classes and delve deep into the Word. Unfortunately, my first day of classes felt like a smack in the face, and immediately resulted in tears and frustration. Exhausted is an extreme euphemism for how I was feeling that day. I didn't think I had the brains, strength, courage or physical stamina to handle my classes, or my transition from summer bliss to school stress. I felt like Satan was attacking me from every angle. I crossed into a place that bred comparison and ate people like me for breakfast. I knew in my heart that God would equip me for a difficult semester, but the combination of Satan and piles of homework seemed to be standing in my way. I felt trapped.

Satan really is a punk. He chained me with insecurity and weighed my heart down with hopelessness. Not only did I start to compare myself with my classmates, but also with my friends. A yucky, comparative spirit brooded within me, and reared its ugly head whenever things weren't going my way. I lashed out with words when I should’ve been countering lies with love. I was losing control.

At this point in the semester, my internal struggle became a physical battle. I lost ten pounds, my hair was falling out, and my bruises and pallor were distinct. Even walking up the stairs with a backpack on became difficult because of my weakness. My body seemed to be crumbling. Comparison and bitterness’ grip was so tight, I forgot how to ask for help. How could someone like me, a Jesus-loving, dedicated girl from Hope College fall into the pits of anorexia? How in the world did I get to this point? I wanted answers so desperately, but I felt like God was being quiet. I continued my pursuit of Him, but was constantly reminded of my deteriorating health every time I looked in a mirror. I couldn't control my situation, but I could control how much I ate. Like I said before, Satan really is a punk.

A wise person once told me, “Say no to fear and yes to Jesus.” I didn't realize this at first, but saying yes to Jesus means you have to deal with the fears you keep hidden. You know what I mean, those little worries you keep locked away so nobody will know that you’re broken. The hurt that builds up and festers until you can’t bear its weight anymore. Yes, those awful fears. At my lowest point, I laid my burden before the Lord. I sat at his feet, and offered up the sacrifice of myself. Those fears that I was unworthy of love and that I wasn't good, smart, or beautiful enough were buried at the foot of the cross. He knew me in my weakness. He knew my heart. He knew my struggle. He heard my cry. God definitely wasn't being silent... he was being patient.

Ask Jesus for help. He won’t disappoint you. His intentions are pure, his love is strong, and his arms are big. He wants to catch you. God is slowly mending my wounds of last semester, and I am staying close to him, falling into his arms when I mess up. He deserves all honor and glory, for there is NO way I could have crawled out of that pit alone. Through this battle I learned that there really is power in the name of Jesus, and he wants his children well. Even if it takes surrendering the lies every single day, Jesus is always faithful in his pursuit of us. Embrace vulnerability, and don’t be afraid to admit that you’re broken. Let Jesus catch you... because he is an awesome lifeguard. He’s never failed, and he won’t start now.



If this is something you struggle with, and would like prayer, or want to share your story, email us at lettersofhope7@gmail.com 

Broader

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1

We have been set free. From pornography, from lust, from lies, from pride, from addiction, from hurt, from abuse, from shame, from guilt. We have been set free from sin.
God has put a calling on my heart to pray for and love on those who struggle with pornography. I have no doubt that this is my passion and calling...for the time being.
What God has revealed to me, very recently, is that while confronting pornography is my passion, that does not in any way mean that this blog should be confined to such things.
God had His hand in the creation of this blog so much that He set it up to be broader than only pornography without me even knowing it.
- I had taken a picture of Big Red (the lighthouse) on a walk to the pier with my friends - I thought it looked cool, so I put it as the background to the blog.
- The name Letters of Hope came from my experience at an addiction recovery house.
- I made it clear in the heading of the blog that it was not a self-help blog.
What I didn't know is that while I was thinking about these things in the context of pornography - the addiction to and the hope we have in Christ to overcome it - God had a much broader idea, because He is so much bigger than we can imagine, and His plans are so much bigger.

So much bigger.

To me, the lighthouse now symbolizes the bringing to light of the things we struggle with - pornography, sure, but also pride, depression, anger, anxiety, and loneliness, to name a few.
An area that is illuminated by the beam of a lighthouse transforms completely. It looks nothing like what it looked like in the dark. It is a new thing. In the same way, this blog will be a place for anyone to bring their struggles into the light of Christ and His community, through writing a blog post or just simply asking for prayer - and to see that any struggle can and will be used to glorify God. Christ as the Light takes away any power that these things had in the dark. Christ has made us new.
Letters of Hope is exactly what God wants this blog to be - letters from anyone who has seen God in their struggles. These are letters that give hope to people who are going through something similar. In Christ, these letters bring light to the darkness, and will let people know that they are not alone in their struggle. I think this is why I was so sure that it needed to be clear that this would not be a self-help blog. This is simply a safe place for people to bring the heavy things of their hearts into the light, and for people to see that Christ is doing a new thing in so many people and in so many ways. And for those reading who may not struggle with the specific problem that the post is about - pray. Be thankful for what God has done, and pray for Christ to continue to move in that person's life.

If you're interested in writing a blog, or you want/need prayer, email us at lettersofhope7@gmail.com
Writing a blog or sharing your story has nothing to do with being all put together. You might still be struggling and think that somehow disqualifies you from being able to write about how Jesus has impacted your life. If you see Jesus in your struggle, write about it - it doesn't matter where you are in that struggle.

If nothing else, I ask that you pray for this blog and for a continued guidance from God, and that He would use it however He wants. This blog is pointless without Jesus, so we surrender the entire purpose and goal of this to His will.

"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden." Matthew 5:14
Don't hide the light. 

His,
Loh

To My Brothers:

To my brothers struggling with lust and addiction to porn:

I am not writing this to condemn but to encourage, so I ask you to read this to the end.

I was sexually abused as a child. (This message is not about me, so I will only talk about this as much as our Father leads.) It impacted me on an excruciating level emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. The weight of it was unbearable. For a long while after this started, I was consumed by an overwhelming bitterness and distrust towards men.

I am sure that those who abused me had little intention in abusing a child at first. No one wakes up one random day and decides to become sexually abusive. I know for certain that it began with porn for one abuser. Just porn. Slowly porn could no longer suffice for him. It evolved to him cheating on his wife. Then he wanted more extreme encounters. Eventually he turned to a little girl who loved playing soccer and holding puppies and knew nothing about sex. I doubt he stood at the end of the wedding aisle planning to someday rape a child. But without Jesus, we are immune to nothing – and so the pornography slowly disfigured his thoughts and views on what was acceptable. Without Jesus, I could have killed my abuser. Perhaps I could have even ended up abusing children myself. I’m not saying that all sexual sin leads to child abuse or rape or even adultery, but sexual sin is never without a horrible price.

 The good news is, Jesus delivered me. He has freed me completely of shame and guilt. I have so much joy, and I know He will use what has happened to me for His glory. This past year, He has patiently, fiercely, and gently taught me forgiveness. He has broken the yoke of distrust and bitterness off. I do not hate those addicted to porn. I know men are not mindless animals, because I have brothers in Jesus who show me what a man of God looks like. I have been on my face weeping before the Lord, begging him to rescue my abusers. I cannot imagine the brokenness and confinement in their souls. I hurt for them. I love them. This is only by His power.

            He has shown me His heart of grace and forgiveness, and I want you to know what He showed me. There is no sin which could keep us from Him. 

You are not an animal. 

You are not dirty. 

You are not helpless. 

He sees your heart - He sees you longing for purity. Cry out to Him for rescue, and He will come. Brothers, I know the enemy took advantage of your innocence as well when you first saw porn as a boy or when you were first introduced to the world of lust. I’m so sorry this temptation is continually being thrust at you. I want you to know there are women who so genuinely value and appreciate your determination to be free of this. I want you to know I am in this with you, warring in prayer for you. I want you to know that if you stumble, I will still be here to support you.

            The thoughts that seem to invade your mind and fill you with shame hold nothing when compared to the cross. The confusing urges which seem so unholy yet natural at the same time are nothing compared to the power of His Spirit. Only perfect Jesus, who hung on that tree, bearing all the sin of the world and the wrath of God, paid a high enough price to declare our worth. He says nothing can separate. We do not have a right to say anyone is too far gone because His sacrifice was too tragic, too loving, and too deep for any sin to change that.  You do not have a right to say you are too far gone because of His love. You cannot look at our loving, bleeding Savior and say “it’s not enough for me.” He is our Judge and Advocate - He is not an accuser. He is filled with anger towards the enemy for this attempt to hold you captive. He fights for you. He battles for your freedom.

And He has won.

Don’t hide it in the dark because of shame. He is bigger. Trust your brothers and sisters to have the grace and love Jesus extends. Whatever the extent of the struggle, grace abounds. I don’t care what you have done or thought or looked at. I love you. I pray for your freedom and joy. From His fullness we receive grace upon grace.  (John 1:16)  In the Light - and only in the Light - there is freedom, forgiveness, and grace.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXVXOgVxLc0   “We are not chained to the secrets we've made… We can’t afford not to cry out.”

While I am writing this primarily to men because it is an issue I know that many, many men struggle with, I also want to acknowledge that women struggle with this as well. I want my sisters to know that this is for them too and that there is always help. 

With so much love,

Your sister

To:

The reasoning behind the name "Letters of Hope" comes from my experience interning/working at a residential addiction treatment house. When applying to be promoted for the next level (there are three levels, independence for the resident increases at each level), the guys I work with write what have been called final letters. These are multiple hand-written letters to things or people in their lives that have affected or have been affected by their addiction - the letters could be to their kids, parents, significant other, or it could be to things like their addiction, their past, God, etc. The guys then read these letters out loud to the group that they are in. 

I think there is something beautiful about this process - not only does writing down your own thoughts help you to process, but reading them aloud (or I suppose putting it on a blog) gives a sort of release. I have seen many grown men cry reading letters apologizing to their kids for what they have done, or finally telling their addiction that they are done, forever. In short, these are letters of pain, failure, and despair - but they are also letters of reconciliation, triumph, and most of all, hope. These are letters of hope because, no matter what we have done, or what our letters say, everything is under the love of Christ - and that is something to have hope in.

So one of the things I think that this blog could be used for is a place for people to send their letters - either just as way to get their story out there, and it won't be posted, or, if it's the right time, to send letters and have them posted here, anonymously. I don't know what God has planned for this blog - maybe this is for one person who really needs help right now. If that's you, and you feel like sharing your story could help you, then that's what this blog is for. This whole blog could be for you - one single person - and it would be completely worth it, because that's how much God loves us. He would and has gone to the most extreme lengths to show His love. 

And maybe God wants to use this blog for something we haven't even thought of yet - maybe He wants this blog to be a place where anyone, anytime can share their story and the hope that is in it through Jesus. Whatever is on your heart, share it with us. If you've been struggling with pornography and you're ready to be done, and you want someone to talk to or to pray with you, or to just simply tell someone; we're here. If you know someone who has struggled or still struggles with pornography, and that has affected you, share your story with us. 

We're a family. Brothers and sisters in Christ. One of the most beautiful results of that is that we can share like a family. It's possible you grew up in a family that didn't share anything deeper than what you had for lunch or got on your last exam, or it's possible that you see your family as something barely resembling a family. Whatever the case, let this be a place where your concept of family is totally re-imagined; a place where every member is welcomed and loved equally, where people can share in their struggles, and instead of being judged, they're loved - and where we all love and serve the greatest Father in the universe.  

We'll be posting the first letter in a few days - until then, send in your prayer requests, letters, concerns, ideas, etc.

In His love,

LoH

Stats.

Just some stats to look at...let your heart break as God's heart breaks - but also know that God has a plan to end all of this. It will start small - one person at a time - but God will use those who have struggled with this addiction to end it. 

Boldness

Since it's exam week, these posts might be a little sparse until Christmas break. I've been feeling that I need to address one of the main dangers of this addiction to pornography, which can and should be applied when thinking about any sort of sin. 
Keeping whatever you struggle with to yourself - be it pornography, lying, stealing, cheating, thoughts of depression, suicide, self harm, anything - is inviting the devil to use that against you. When we keep what we struggle with to ourselves, it begins to grow inside of us and attach itself at multiple points, like cancer. We push it down and try to overcome it with our own strength until finally this dark thing has already taken over half of our spiritual body, at which point friends and family begin to ask things like, "what's wrong," or, "you seem different...why?" And when we finally tell them, it's so big and dark that it can be hard for one person to help you through. 
Even when we discuss it with God, it can become a way out of being accountable and/or staying in community with others. 
Don't let "I'm bringing it to Jesus" become an excuse for not being in a supporting community of believers. 
Talking with God about anything you struggle with is 100% necessary. BUT - if it becomes a sort of safety net where you see it as a way to get out of talking about it with other people - we begin walking on thin ice. I know this because this is where I was, and I sometimes still struggle with it. I thought that since I kept apologizing to God and asking Him for forgiveness, that I was fine. My eyes became cloudy with the fact that I never had to actually confront my addiction with someone face to face - I became numb when confessing it to God because I had confessed it to Him so many times before. Talking with another person though, was raw, and it hurt, and it was awkward. Satan used that to convince me that not only was it awkward to talk about it with someone else, but that it was a burden to the other person. That no one wanted to hear about my struggles and that I was too dirty and disgusting for anyone to really care about what I was going through - "They're just going to judge you and tell you to stop. They're going to think you're unclean and they won't love you for who you are - they'll only see your dirtiness" - just a few of the lies that the devil constantly used to fill my head and to make me think that I was alone.
If you remember one thing from this whole entire blog, remember this; you are not alone. Ever.
So many people struggle with this addiction - it just takes the boldness to admit it to a friend. Chances are they will either identify with you, or will be extremely honored and humbled by your honesty and boldness. The power of this addiction lies in its secrecy - it dwells and thrives in the dark places of your life that nobody hears about. When you give it to God, and bring it into the light of a caring community, this addiction loses its power. And if you are wondering about your habits of looking at pornography, and don't feel like you have any friends that you want to be vulnerable with - first, don't underestimate your friends. Trust them, and they will in return give you their trust and probably a lot of good help and love. You also have friends here. E-mail us with any concerns, prayer requests, or random questions that you may have. 
Finally, you will always have a friend in Jesus. There is a difference between using Jesus as an excuse, and seeing him as a Savior, King, and Counselor who can handle even your deepest, darkest secrets and struggles. Not only can He handle them, but He will use them for His glory. This blog is living proof of that. It just takes living in simple obedience to and confidence in the One who has conquered the grave. 

If you are struggling with pornography, do not feel afraid, guilty, or ashamed. Jesus died on the cross for you, knowing that you would struggle with pornography. He thought specifically of you - and He chose to die for your sins. Live into that boldness. Talk with someone about it - a friend, a parent, a pastor, a sibling, or us. Don't try to go through this alone. 

This is my command--be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. - Joshua 1:9 

In His love,

LoH